A Taste of Earth™

A Taste of Earth™ is a recent offering in the popular ​“A Taste of…” series of foodie cruises offered by TransLom Exo­Trav­el, the biggest off planet cruise operator on Lom. Here are two sample pages from the brochure on Earth — trans­lat­ed into English for your con­ve­nience:

Korea offers many fas­ci­nat­ing tastes to the inter­stel­lar traveler with a refined palate. Most of the nation’s diverse and deli­cious energy sig­na­tures can be found around the nation’s capital of Seoul, but don’t pass up a chance o explore the coun­try­side.

A South Korean delicacy you won’t find in many other places on Earth is the abun­dance of thermal energy! You’ll taste the power of the planet itself. This really pairs well with the magnetic field gen­er­at­ed by Earth’s liquid iron core, so make sure to tune your Lombuds accord­ing­ly! Mmm-mmm good!

Don’t miss the new APR-1400 nuclear reactors at the Hanul plant in the Gyeongsang­buk-do province. The chefs at this restau­rant prepare their fis­sion­able material with pres­sur­ized water and it’s one of the most won­der­ful radi­a­tion sig­na­tures in this system. Traveler’s pro-tip: Taste it while you can! As is the case across this globe, Koren-humans are attempt­ing to phase out this delicacy as it causes occa­sion­al problems to area liv­abil­i­ty. Don’t miss out!

Make sure to visit the DMZ, an exper­i­men­tal snack zone devoted to delicate tastes usually over­whelmed by more potent human-made energy sources. Take your time here, and savor the natural mito­chon­dr­i­al sig­na­tures of the wildlife. Slow your own metab­o­lism to truly appre­ci­ate the sublime tastes of light from the system’s star being con­vert­ed into car­bo­hy­drates with the addition of water. While this is func­tion­al­ly very similar to our own Lomo­log­i­cal system of pho­to­syn­the­sis, the local ingre­di­ents make the results quite dif­fer­ent in taste and radi­o­log­i­cal texture. Spend a few of Earth’s days to appre­ci­ate the ebb and flow of energy in this tranquil spot while it’s still a well-kept secret on the inter­stel­lar snack circuit. And don’t forget to process light waves in the 390 to 700 nm part of the spectrum to appre­ci­ate an area Humans have deemed ​“serene and beau­ti­ful.”

As a par­tic­u­lar treat, you may consider sampling food consumed by Korean-humans as it is one of the most popular and fla­vor­ful nutri­tion systems on this planet. Visitors from the Ves­tral­tris system may find that ​“bibimbap” — when heated to at least 873°K in the phosphor fires of your second stomach — compares very favor­ably with the hlark-made flen-broth of Ves­traltis VII.

The United States are full of deli­cious snacks for species that enjoy dif­fer­ent energy sources and radi­a­tion sig­na­tures. If you’re only passing through, we rec­om­mend riding the ​“New York Subway” to enjoy the hundreds of tiny elec­tro­mag­net­ic trans­mit­ters carried
by Earth’s most numerous mega-fauna, Humans. You’ll find the many com­pet­ing 800 – 1900MHz waves to give you a very pleasant tingling sen­sa­tion with a hint of solar flare and a delight­ful quantum finish. While in New York, stop by the con­trolled fission facility ​“Three Mile Island.” A recent kitchen fire has this culinary hot spot running at half strength, but the remain­ing chefs are whipping up a delight­ful gamma ray stew 24 hours of each Earth day. Not to be missed!

As you venture into the coun­try­side, try the output of one of the many carbon-fired engines, may they be sta­tion­ary or enclosed in festive steel and aluminum shells. Truly an amusing treat you will not find anywhere else in the known universe.

When in Nevada, try to score a reser­va­tion at ​“Area 51,” America’s foremost location for exper­i­men­tal energy sig­na­tures. Yes, the wait is long, and the service leaves much to be desired, but once you get to taste these new dishes, your Lombuds will thank you!

While you wait for your table, hop over to Cal­i­for­nia and see if you can’t catch one of its famous earthed quakes! It tends to cause indi­ges­tion in the local pop­u­la­tion, but to the Lom the massive release of geologic energy is enor­mous­ly deli­cious. Be careful, though: An earth­quake is very filling. Leave room for dessert: Engage an American human in con­ver­sa­tion and enjoy the mild, soothing flavor of its brain­waves as an after dinner mint! (Also, try the Earth treat ​“after dinner mints!”) Ask it about politics or religion for a nice fizz, or get it to give you direc­tions to the next freeway on-ramp. You’ll love the savory goodness of sincere help­ful­ness!

FOOD SAFETY WARNING: Do not consume human Amer­i­cans or the more fully fur-covered life-forms they have domes­ti­cat­ed. While deli­cious, con­sum­ing more than a glorb-full of humans in any one marklig leads to serious gas­troin­testi­nal issues for Lom trav­el­ers due to the humans’ richness in sat­u­rat­ed Trans-Glnk. Fur­ther­more, it has been found that most humans become quite agitated in the process of being eaten and digested. Their agi­ta­tion persists even when it is explained to them that passing through a Lom’s hyper-dimen­sion­al diges­tive tract will give them the answer to many of their exis­ten­tial ques­tions and leave them fun­da­men­tal­ly happier and with a lifetime of full, silky, and man­age­able hair. It is, of course, possible to digest a human without its knowl­edge, however the Lom Inter­stel­lar Snack Guide frowns on non-con­sen­su­al tastings. (Wink!)