A Taste of Earth™
A Taste of Earth™ is a recent offering in the popular “A Taste of…” series of foodie cruises offered by TransLom ExoTravel, the biggest off planet cruise operator on Lom. Here are two sample pages from the brochure on Earth — translated into English for your convenience:
Korea offers many fascinating tastes to the interstellar traveler with a refined palate. Most of the nation’s diverse and delicious energy signatures can be found around the nation’s capital of Seoul, but don’t pass up a chance o explore the countryside.
A South Korean delicacy you won’t find in many other places on Earth is the abundance of thermal energy! You’ll taste the power of the planet itself. This really pairs well with the magnetic field generated by Earth’s liquid iron core, so make sure to tune your Lombuds accordingly! Mmm-mmm good!
Don’t miss the new APR-1400 nuclear reactors at the Hanul plant in the Gyeongsangbuk-do province. The chefs at this restaurant prepare their fissionable material with pressurized water and it’s one of the most wonderful radiation signatures in this system. Traveler’s pro-tip: Taste it while you can! As is the case across this globe, Koren-humans are attempting to phase out this delicacy as it causes occasional problems to area livability. Don’t miss out!
Make sure to visit the DMZ, an experimental snack zone devoted to delicate tastes usually overwhelmed by more potent human-made energy sources. Take your time here, and savor the natural mitochondrial signatures of the wildlife. Slow your own metabolism to truly appreciate the sublime tastes of light from the system’s star being converted into carbohydrates with the addition of water. While this is functionally very similar to our own Lomological system of photosynthesis, the local ingredients make the results quite different in taste and radiological texture. Spend a few of Earth’s days to appreciate the ebb and flow of energy in this tranquil spot while it’s still a well-kept secret on the interstellar snack circuit. And don’t forget to process light waves in the 390 to 700 nm part of the spectrum to appreciate an area Humans have deemed “serene and beautiful.”
As a particular treat, you may consider sampling food consumed by Korean-humans as it is one of the most popular and flavorful nutrition systems on this planet. Visitors from the Vestraltris system may find that “bibimbap” — when heated to at least 873°K in the phosphor fires of your second stomach — compares very favorably with the hlark-made flen-broth of Vestraltis VII.
The United States are full of delicious snacks for species that enjoy different energy sources and radiation signatures. If you’re only passing through, we recommend riding the “New York Subway” to enjoy the hundreds of tiny electromagnetic transmitters carried
by Earth’s most numerous mega-fauna, Humans. You’ll find the many competing 800 – 1900MHz waves to give you a very pleasant tingling sensation with a hint of solar flare and a delightful quantum finish. While in New York, stop by the controlled fission facility “Three Mile Island.” A recent kitchen fire has this culinary hot spot running at half strength, but the remaining chefs are whipping up a delightful gamma ray stew 24 hours of each Earth day. Not to be missed!
As you venture into the countryside, try the output of one of the many carbon-fired engines, may they be stationary or enclosed in festive steel and aluminum shells. Truly an amusing treat you will not find anywhere else in the known universe.
When in Nevada, try to score a reservation at “Area 51,” America’s foremost location for experimental energy signatures. Yes, the wait is long, and the service leaves much to be desired, but once you get to taste these new dishes, your Lombuds will thank you!
While you wait for your table, hop over to California and see if you can’t catch one of its famous earthed quakes! It tends to cause indigestion in the local population, but to the Lom the massive release of geologic energy is enormously delicious. Be careful, though: An earthquake is very filling. Leave room for dessert: Engage an American human in conversation and enjoy the mild, soothing flavor of its brainwaves as an after dinner mint! (Also, try the Earth treat “after dinner mints!”) Ask it about politics or religion for a nice fizz, or get it to give you directions to the next freeway on-ramp. You’ll love the savory goodness of sincere helpfulness!
FOOD SAFETY WARNING: Do not consume human Americans or the more fully fur-covered life-forms they have domesticated. While delicious, consuming more than a glorb-full of humans in any one marklig leads to serious gastrointestinal issues for Lom travelers due to the humans’ richness in saturated Trans-Glnk. Furthermore, it has been found that most humans become quite agitated in the process of being eaten and digested. Their agitation persists even when it is explained to them that passing through a Lom’s hyper-dimensional digestive tract will give them the answer to many of their existential questions and leave them fundamentally happier and with a lifetime of full, silky, and manageable hair. It is, of course, possible to digest a human without its knowledge, however the Lom Interstellar Snack Guide frowns on non-consensual tastings. (Wink!)